


No Matter What

by connorssock



Series: Prompt Fills [11]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 15:36:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18694342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/connorssock/pseuds/connorssock
Summary: For the prompt: Mpreg Gavin? Thought he couldn't get pregnant but then does but then he loses the baby? An angst fest with loving Nines please?





	No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

> Heed the tags please! This isn't a happy, feel-good story.
> 
> Also please wave a magic wand of science that now allows humans to have babies with androids.

Androids were being given their rights by the bucketful. At first they got the right to live, then the right to work, the right to own property, the right to foster and adopt. Now, with a long anticipated research and upgrades, they could breed too. It was a horrible term but Gavin couldn’t bring himself to use any other one. He raged against the unfairness of it all. Androids, who weren’t meant to be able to reproduce had hundreds of thousand, if not millions of dollars invested it their ability to reproduce. Meanwhile, Gavin had been disowned for not being able to do it. By all rights, he should have been a carrier, both his parents were, so was his brother. After numerous tests, they had discovered that while Gavin had the genes to be a carrier, for some reason his body rejected any attempt to bear a child. No longer of use to marry off for a nice dowry, he had been cast aside, allowed to pursue whatever life he wanted. It was only because of his infertility that the police academy had accepted him. Carriers weren’t meant for a life of hard work.

In a way, being an android was what had drawn Gavin to Nines. There wasn’t the expectation of children there, the awkward conversation of why Gavin, despite being a listed carrier, couldn’t fulfil what his biology had promised. Then again, Nines had always seemed so understanding and patient with Gavin that perhaps even if the opportunity had arisen; it wouldn’t have been an issue. Still, it blindsided Gavin when Nines came home one evening, looking a little excited.

“I got the upgrade,” he smiled against Gavin’s lips as he kissed him.

The world stopped and ran cold as Gavin pulled away to stare up at him in disbelief.

“Why?” His words were choked, hoarse with disbelief. “Why would you do that?”

“Because it makes me feel closer to you.”

“But you know I can’t-” Gavin pushed away, arms wrapped around his stomach. “Fuck!”

“It doesn’t bother me. I just like seeing you stuffed full and leaking my seed. And the knowledge that it’s real? Makes it all the more hotter.”

Gavin swallowed back the tears, nodded as Nines explained. It didn’t make sense in his head but at least Nines wasn’t pushing for what he couldn’t give. So he let it be, didn’t argue. The upgrades were still expensive but if that’s what made Nines happy then he wasn’t going to argue. Nor mention that it actually felt quite nice. The lubricant based synthetic cum had been fun, but the consistency of it was never going to be like the real thing.

Life carried on as before, nothing really changed. Nines still loved Gavin. Gavin still loved Nines. They had sex, went to work, went out on dates. It was comfortable and Gavin was happy. He assumed that his tastes were changing as he got older. Coffee was no longer a siren call in the morning but he developed a sudden appreciation for pickled things. Some nights, he would get up once Nines had slipped into stasis and pad out to the kitchen just to have a late night snack. While his favourites were the gherkins, he also thoroughly enjoyed beetroot and silver onions. Getting old was a funny thing.

He didn’t even think much about how he was a little nauseous sometimes. It came with the territory of questionable eating habits and a job that really could turn the stomach at times. Still, it was a bit puzzling why his senses had taken a sudden offence at the smell of orange juice. It had always been available in the breakroom as an alternative to coffee and tea. Sometimes he even had half a glass of it when he needed something cold. Now though, he opened the fridge door and retched as the smell hit him. If Tina hadn’t been in the breakroom to tell him he was being a drama queen, he would have dumped the whole thing down the sink thinking it was off.

While orange juice only made him gag, the smell of ink had him desperately reaching for the bin by his desk. People stared at him but he was too busy pushing the offending paper away from himself. Oddly enough, he may have thrown up but he was still hungry.

His trousers stopped fitting, no matter how much he tried to work out, limit his eating to sensible portions and generally be sensible around food. At the rate he was putting weight on, he was going to have to go clothes shopping soon.

“I hate getting older,” he grumbled to Nines, pulling his boxers on one morning. His stomach had a visible swell which wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he tried to suck it in. “Look at me, going the same way Anderson did.”

He patted the bulge and looked up at Nines who was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“What?” Gavin grumbled. “I’ve been trying really hard, I’m sorry okay. Shifting the excess is a little harder when you’re human.”

“Gavin,” Nines’ eyes hadn’t left his stomach. “Gavin.”

His name sounded like a prayer and a benediction on Nines’ lips. Finally, Nines tore his gaze from his stomach and looked Gavin in the eyes.

“You’re pregnant.”

The world ground to a halt. Gavin let out a scoff of a laugh, amused and angry that Nines would think to make such a joke.

“And you need to get your humour subroutines cleaned because it’s not funny.”

He didn’t expect Nines to scramble from the bed without any of his usual grace and move to stand in front of him. One hand tipped his chin up while the other cupped Gavin’s stomach. The kiss was slow, sweeter than most they’d shared before and when Nines pulled back, his eyes were tear bright.

“No.” Gavin shook his head and stepped away, hands clutching at his stomach. “I can’t be. No!”

Nines stepped closer, pulled him into a grounding hug while Gavin fought his own mind. It was impossible for him to be pregnant. All the tests had shown that he was infertile. If he was carrying, it was the end of his career, the end of his life as he knew it. He wasn’t prepared, or even able to look after a new life. There were too many thoughts whirling through his head, eating away at him at a terrifying pace.

“What are we going to do?” he gasped into Nines’ shirt, the tears rushing down his cheeks soaking into it.

“Whatever you want to. We can go to a doctor, get a scan and decide from there.”

Gavin nodded. He needed to plan things out, had to find something to pull him through the initial shock and plan sounded like exactly what he needed. Thankfully, Nines was able to handle booking an appointment with the doctor and also tell Fowler they were going to be late that morning. Not an hour later, he found himself sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair in a waiting room with Nines by his side.

They were called in, his details and history taken before he was being told to take off his top and lie back on the bed. Gavin clutched at Nines’ hand as the cold gel was applied to his stomach and the scanner pressed firmly against his skin. The doctor hummed as they looked at the screen.

“Would you like to see?”

Gavin nodded and the screen was turned towards them. It was a blurry mess with what looked like a bulbous bean with a few tendrils.

“You’re about 14-15 weeks along,” the doctor was saying. “That there is the head, with the limbs just forming and here,” a finger pointed to a pulsing thing, “that right here is the heartbeat.”

“Oh fuck.” Gavin pressed a hand to his mouth, his other squeezed Nines’ hard. It didn’t stop a fresh wave of tears running down his cheeks.

“From what we can see, baby looks just fine. Given your age and history, I would recommend more regular check-ups, just to keep an eye on you both. Would you like a photo of your scan?”

“Yes.” Gavin gasped. “Please.”

“I’ll leave you to get dressed again,” the doctor smiled at them. “There’s wipes by the sink.”

They were left alone in the room and Gavin pulled himself upright. He stared up at Nines with wide eyes.

“I came in here to discuss potential termination but now,” he trailed off and gestured to the blank screen. “Then I saw the heartbeat and all.”

“You want to keep it?” Nines asked, stepping forward to stand between Gavin’s legs. He pulled his head against his stomach and felt Gavin nod.

“Do you mind?” Gavin’s voice was timid and small. It made Nines smile down at him even if he couldn’t see.

“I would have supported you no matter what decision you came to. But I would be honoured to have a family with you.”

The wet laugh Gavin gave at that had Nines pulling away, wanting to see his face. It was tear streaked but the smile was wider than he’d ever seen before.

Going into work late, they get a few curious looks; especially when they marched straight to Fowler’s office. The conversation went about as well as expected. Gavin was put on immediate desk duty, all active cases were to be either carried out by Nines alone or passed to another team. It got Gavin grumbling about being competent still but it was non-negotiable. Only when Fowler told him in no uncertain terms that he was being chained to a desk because of worries for the baby rather than Gavin did he quiet down a little.

Word about Gavin’s condition spread through the precinct quickly. Tina, Hank, Connor and Chris all came to congratulate him before it was even officially announced. By the time Fowler had gathered everyone in the meeting room, over half the people knew about it.

The change was difficult to get used to. Whereas before, people wouldn’t engage him in conversation beyond work, he was suddenly being given all manner of advice and kind words. Ways to combat the sickness – even though it had all but faded now, child rearing tips, offers of knowing friends who will be more than happy to give baby clothes once he knows the gender.

That was actually something both he and Nines felt quite strongly about. There weren’t going to be many surprises about the kid – even though its conception was quite a shock. So the gender was something that was going to be another mystery until the last minute.

Now that Gavin knew that he was expecting, with Nines’ help, they went clothes shopping. He got trousers that would fit comfortably over his growing stomach as well as baggier tops that would hopefully endure the whole pregnancy. It also meant that Gavin no longer worried quite so much about the weight gain and the need to work it off. He still went to the gym but modified his exercises; let his diet slip a little. If his face grew a little rounder and softer than before, nobody mentioned it.

There was a certain joy to pregnancy, Gavin found. And it wasn’t even the sudden positivity people surrounded him with. He had an undercurrent of contentment, even when Nines was out on a case, he wasn’t alone. As his bump grew, he could rest a hand on it, took comfort in it. On slow days, he found his mind drifting to the future, trying to guess what life would be like with a child. Their flat was okay for the first few months, maybe even two years if they pushed it but at some point he and Nines were going to have to move. Especially if they decided to try for a second child.

Humming happily to himself, Gavin leaned forward in his chair, a hand on his stomach while the other swiped through the report he was meant to be working on. The chair opposite him was empty as Nines was consulting with Hank over some casefiles and evidence from a recently wrapped up scene.

“Nines!”

His almost shout drew a few eyes but he didn’t care. Stumbling out of his chair, Gavin was up on his feet, hand pressed to his bump with a wide grin.

“Nines!” he called again, words eluding him as he approached. Rather than say anything, he grabbed Nines’ hand and pressed the palm against his stomach, watching for Nines’ expression to change.

It morphed from a puzzled frown to wide eyed wonderment and an easy, happy grin when he felt it too.

“Do you feel it too?”

“Our child’s kicking,” there was wonder in Nines’ voice and he dipped to kiss Gavin in elation, ignoring their usual rule of no PDA at work.

The check-ups they went to were all fine; the pregnancy was running its course without any complication. Each time they left the hospital, Gavin let out a huff of air, feeling a little lighter. Not that he’d ever spoken about it, but the worry had been eating away at him. Over the years he’d not taken best care of his body, never thought he’d share it with a growing child. He ate, drank and smoked whenever he felt like it, pushed himself at work, strived to achieve promotion after promotion. Combine his history with his age; he had doubts that he could provide a safe and healthy place for a kid. So each time the doctor smiled at him and told him that all was going well, he breathed a little easier.

The 6 month scan came and went; there was no mistaking Gavin’s stomach for a paunch anymore. He and Nines were starting to talk about cribs vs bed attachments for the baby to sleep in. One thing they both agreed on was that no matter what, they would all be sleeping in the same room for at least the first six months.

In a way, it was terrifying to think that in about three months’ time, Gavin would be taking home a tiny human being that he was going to be responsible for. It had led to some serious conversations between him and Nines about their jobs. While they both loved being detectives, there was no denying that it wasn’t the safest job in the world. The risk of not coming home was higher than that of most other jobs. Gavin didn’t want to give up though; he had been desperately trying to figure out a way to stay in police work once his paternity leave was up. Not once did Nines argue with him about it, he simply listened and offered counter reasoning for Gavin to think about. There were options out there; he just had to choose which way forward was going to be his.

As with most days, Nines was out on a case while Gavin was in the bullpen, working through reports and files. He’d become quite content in a way, not being the one out at a scene but rather, being the one to filter through things with a clearer, more objective perspective. He was walking towards Fowler’s office with some new ideas on a cold case where it seemed that some evidence had been discarded too early when the door flew open.

Perkins flounced out, rounded the railing and snarled at Gavin as he shoved him out the way in a fit of fury. Caught off guard, Gavin stumbled under the force of the push and collided with the corner of the handrail leading up the stairs. All wind rushed out of him as agony blossomed across his stomach.

“Watch it, fatty!” Perkins snapped and ignored the way Gavin stayed bent over the railing for a few moments longer than expected.

People watched in stunned silence, expected Gavin to start cursing up a storm and grumble about the pain. Yet nothing came. He gripped the banister as he doubled over; face blanched and breathing coming in short gasps. It was so far out of the usual response, people were slow to respond to his silence.

Hands were on Gavin after that, one on his back, the other on his chest, trying to help him straighten up. He let out a pained gasp and his knees gave out as he tried to stand straight.

“What’s going on?” a familiar voice asked from the back of the crowd.

“Nines,” Gavin croaked, blindly reaching a hand out which was gripped firmly as Nines knelt by his side. “It hurts.”

The whimper caught in his throat and Gavin squeezed his eyes shut. A tear trickled down his cheek.

“Everyone leave,” Hank ordered from somewhere above them. “Clear the meeting room, we’ll get him in there.”

Obediently, the crowd dispersed. Nines murmured soft words to sooth Gavin, offered to help him walk but got a headshake in turn.

“I’m going to lift you up, take you to the meeting room and once you’re in less pain, we’re going to go home.”

Gingerly, Nines scooped Gavin up and stood, turning to walk them to the quiet of the meeting room when he sees Hank’s alarmed expression and shake of his head.

“Hospital,” Hank gritted out and Gavin lets out a hiccough of pain and despair. Connor was by Hank’s side and his mouth was pulled into a thin line, LED red. In an instant Nines was reaching out to him, trying to find clarification even as he was calling for an ambulance at the same time. The reply from Connor was an image of Gavin in Nines’ arms. However, the seat of Gavin’s trousers had a seeping dark spot. Nines had been to enough crime scenes to know it was blood and not urine.

The ride to the hospital was tense, Gavin had been given painkillers to ease the cramps and once they got there, it was a flurry of doctors and nurses. Nines held Gavin’s hand throughout the scans, the uncomfortable poking and prodding which ended when straps were tied around Gavin’s stomach to monitor their child’s heartbeat. Or would have if they could have found it. Even Nines’ scans couldn’t detect signs of life and fear squeezed his thirium pump. There were more frantic doctors and then Gavin was being wheeled into theatre while a sombre nurse helped Nines change into scrubs.

Inside the operating room, Gavin was on his back, and tears quietly slipped down his cheeks. Nines stood next to him, on the shielded half of the partition. They could hear the doctors and nurses talking, but couldn’t see them work. The epidural kept Gavin pain free and aware. The sounds of the doctors fighting to save their child’s life filtered through and Gavin drew a shuddering breath to hold back on his sobs.

They knew it was hopeless before the sad eyed consultant even said anything. Gavin pressed his arm over his eyes as he choked back a soft “fuck”.

“Would you like to hold her for a minute?”

The question caught Nines off guard but Gavin was nodding through his tears, reaching as a nurse brought a small pink bundle around. Nines sat on the edge of the bed, his hand over Gavin’s as they took in the sight of their daughter. The moment of privacy they were granted with her was both a blessing and a curse.

Gavin was wheeled into a private room as soon as it was possible, Nines met him there. His own eyes were damp too and when he saw Gavin look around helplessly, no words coming from his mouth until a broken “I’m so sorry” worked its way out of a tight throat, Nines’ control crumbled. They held onto each other, fingers grasping to clutch at shirts and cried. Mourned the loss of a future they’d grown to look forward to and accept.

They were both given two weeks off work. For Gavin to heal from the C-section as well as compassionate leave. Returning to work was the hardest. After a few muttered and awkward sympathies, people avoided them both. Gavin was cleared to return to the field a few weeks later but things were still strained.

Neither of them could muster up the courage to dig out Gavin’s old clothes. The ones that would now fit him again Instead, Gavin wore a belt and ignored the way the buckle dug into his still tender scar. They talked and cried most nights. Gavin apologising over and over again for not being able to keep their daughter safe even as Nines tried to get through to him that it wasn’t his fault.

Knowing that Perkins had been suspended didn’t make things easier. Neither did the letter of apology from the DPD. Some nights, Gavin would curl into Nines’ side and trace idle patterns across his chest.

“I wish people would stop saying that I can always have another one,” he whispered. “Because I don’t want another child. I want _her_.”

Nines closed his eyes and sighed. It was a sentiment he agreed with. More people told him to cheer up because he could always try again with Gavin. Little did they realise that they were making so many assumptions. The fact that Gavin had even gotten pregnant in the first place was odds defying. The chances of it happening were close to zero.

“Should I remove the upgrades?” he ended up asking over breakfast one day.

Somehow, he’d expected Gavin to either look relieved at not having to ask it himself or adamantly deny such an idea. Instead, Nines was given a long, sorrowful look and a heaving breath.

“I don’t know.”

It wasn’t an answer he’d been expecting, so Nines stayed silent.

“I don’t know if or ever I could go through this again. But at the same time, I don’t want to say never, you know?”

“We’ll do what we’re both comfortable with. I love you. And whether we grow old as just the two of us or we have a larger family, it has no bearing on my devotion to you.”

Gavin huffed out a soft laugh at that and ran a hand through his hair.

“You know I love you too, right?”

Nines nodded and reached across the table to hold Gavin’s hand. Whatever the future held, he was quite certain he was going to be happy with Gavin by his side. It was all that mattered and he hoped that Gavin knew it too.


End file.
